Letter #3. Sacrifice. 

Father, I know everything is above You. I don’t want this pain. It hurts so much, Father. Where are You? Here? But I don’t feel Your presence, Father. I want to hide in Your arms now. This moment is unbearable… I am so lonely. I don’t want any words, I only want Your presence. This body You were once creating, look at this body: it is broken, torn, dirty and exhausted. It doesn’t remember the feelings of peace and beauty. This heart You breathed life into… It is crushed with doubts and fears. Penetrated by suffering.

Dad, I love everything You have created. I want what You want. Your will be done..

You want to call them Your children, Father? They nailed Me to the cross. They hated me. You tried to forewarn them that I am coming. I came and they didn’t recognize Me, being blind with a desire to be like You. I didn’t defend myself. I came to them to gain feeling and insight of how it is to live apart from Your presence for so long. I talked with them – they didn’t understand. I touched them – they didn’t feel. I told them You miss them – they didn’t believe Me. And here I am at the cross, Father, it hurts so much. I am here, in a human truncated body, because they didn’t believe me, Father… I am dying because I gave them truth. I can feel my every nerve, Father, because I love You… Because I love them.

I love them so much, Father…

So much… Love…

Father, You are silent… Don’t be angry with them, Dad. I lived with them for 33 years of human life. I know their eyes are shrouded in darkness. Pure love scares them. They don’t want healing, they are afraid of the pain that comes with trust. They do it unwittingly, Father. They just don’t understand. They don’t even know what is happening now. They forgot how it feels when Someone genuinely loves them…

They forgot how it feels to be a safe child. They forgot how it feels when You rejoice in them and take pride in them.

They think they are left alone.

They forgot You created them for love and eternal harmony.

Father, talk with Me… Don’t be silent. Dad…

Why did you leave me, Abba?



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