Bye Forever


Better place for Hope

HTrdSRTbVyIFunerals is the best detector of saturation of words. There is no way to say empty words without everybody noticing  it in the room full of pain, love and sadness. Yes, love. Love cannot be insincere and when a dear to your heart human dies you feel nothing but genuine pure love. All of the senseless and unimportant things just peel off from your heart and you regret missed moments with a human you are missing now and today.

My great aunt’s name was Nadia, which means — Hope. She was a beautiful woman with a strong and vulnerable heart. Many people loved her. She was the kind of woman you could see tenderness of her inside world by looking in  her eyes. You wanted to protect her from all the storms outside, but she faced all of them with such courage.

Granny Nadia died.

There were a lot of old people at the funeral — her friends and family, listening to the sincere and insincere words. I  looked up as birds intentionally were drawing invisible lines in the sky. My grandma held my hand and said — «I love you so much».

I love you so much. That was the most sincere words I’ve heard this summer. I looked at her blue lively eyes and I saw all the skies of every day of her life till this moment gathered there. «I love you too, granny».

We live in the finite world, penetrated with «bye forever»s. But here’s the thing — we can say «bye forever» to a moment. Who am I without Jesus? Just a moment, which lasts for years. Our body is just a kaleidoscope of different size moments, which assimilate into one life-long deep affecting moment. Then death comes and draws the line. And if we want to live our tomorrow, we have to say «Bye forever, my Beautiful Moment. I let you go». Feeling this piece of death inside of our hearts.

iA5ovEw5xUgThis kind of pain wasn’t meant for humans. We should’n say «bye forever» to each other. Jesus came into our world, living his 33-year long moment, feeling these pieces of death every day. Every single day, he was feeling human pain much more deeper then humans, because He let His heart  be absolutely open. He did it for us not to be just a pile of moments. He faced the Death on the Cross for us to cross the line of death.

God doesn’t want us to say «bye forever» to each other. God doesn’t want to say «bye forever» to us, his favorite humans.

When I think I will never see the beautiful eyes of my great aunt, I feel the pain of this piece of death. In the next moment I hear the familiar gentle Voice from the very inside of my world — «I love you so much».

I love you too, Jesus.


For those who know the leaf

«It’s sad, a healing leaf cannot heal itself. It’s only life is to heal others.»

Healing leaf was created for healing others’ wounds. Usually it grows by the road. In the town, a place of broken things and broken people, you can see little forests of healing leaves everywhere. They even grow in the asphalt cracks, trying to heal the way humans carelessly walk every morning to their work places. vQ8GDIPO1sk

It is not sad, that healing leaf cannot heal itself. Healing — its destination, its calling. It is not sad, when you do something you were created for. But just think about that — you can be healed only if you’re alive. Asphalt is not alive. It is not dead, though. It is just an inanimate object.

The healing leaf doesn’t know that, with trust it grows in those asphalt cracks spending its whole life to heal them. The healing leaf is not sad about that, it is not giving up on the asphalt. It has no choice. It is just living there, until it will die.

«Maybe it is not sad for the leaf, but sad for those who know the leaf.»


The shadow proves the sunshine

lSP-ckcFeicThere is a beautiful shadow on the wall. Have you ever noticed it? Have you ever noticed those tiny leaves, flowers, the distinctive net of branches on the ground? Have you ever noticed those moving shadows of people and their hands in the silent dialogues on the asphalt? All of them live in the alternative wordless world.
A shadow is a peculiar way of a reflection. A shadow is a singular reflection of the darkness. Darkness, which has each single thing around you.

Our world consists of darkness and light. We can’t reject one of them. They always go shoulder to shoulder.

Everything and everybody has its own little darkness, with its own shape and state. Our own darkness, which follows us through our whole lives, reflects our every single move and every single change in us.

When the night comes, shadows disappear. They just dissolve into the darkness, becoming part of the bigger darkness. Little darknesses hide at the great darkness, like scared kids hide in their mom’s tender hugs. You can never see the beauty of the shadow at night.

But when the morning comes and the sun shows itself to the world, it also shows the face of the world. Darkness shows only itself. It tries to absorb these tiny special darknesses and make them lost in its space. It wants you to feel shame for your inside trench and to give an «alternative solution» — come and hide here for nobody to ever see you.

Light shows both sides. It also shows the beauty and uniqueness of the dark side. It makes you feel special and beautiful the way you are. It wants the world to see you.


My beautiful friend, never be ashamed to trust your darkness to the light.

«I am the Light of the world. The person

who follows me will never live in darkness

but will have the light that gives life.»

John 8:12